Sunday, March 19, 2017

It's only cannibalism if we're equals

It was a slow day in the Dumbth Mine, so I opened the door into the Intertubes labeled "GcMAF" to see if there was any drama. The names of Lesley Hutchings and Amanda Mary Jewell were on prominent display, which augured well.
And then there were arrests for money-laundering followed by a great disturbance in the Force.

Below for your delectation we excerpt a FaceBukkake subthread, in which various Natural Born Suckers search among themselves for reasons why some sketchy inhabitant of a tax haven using a Virgin Islands e-address has neither sent the cancer-curing substance for which they paid $$$, nor refunded the money. Eventually they decide that CORRUPTION AT THE HIGHEST LEVELS are involved; also imprisonment or assassination, or both. We expect you to zoom in and read it in detail.

Please to recall, younglings, that GcMAF used to be a miraculous all-curative Unobtainium, variously extracted at enormous expense from blood, magic yoghurt, and by enzymatic deglycolation of colostrum protein. Alas, every two-bit gig-stealing picayune grifter took to slapping a 'GcMAF' label on their scams, generally cheapening the brand, and inspiring Dr Marco Ruggiero to come up with a new and even more all-curative product -- Rerum, 'The stuff', quite a new good thing [Beckett 1953], composed of condroitin sulphate, oleic acid and vitamin D. Its advantages over GcMAF -- in addition to Ruggiero's exclusive control of the brand -- emphasise its harmless placebo nature, as if listed more for the benefit of potential distributors rather than for consumers.

But Ruggiero had not reckoned with the workings of the Morphogenetic Field, for Trevor Banks -- another erstwhile GcMAF pimp -- has independently discovered Omnia, which is also composed of condroitin sulphate, oleic acid and vitamin D. The name is gratifying for 'The Third Policeman' fans, who know full well that Omnium can do anything and is basically Latin for 'MacGuffin'. Such is the power of synchronicity and narrativium that even the list of Omnia's advantages over GcMAF echo those of Rerum.

Now Bank's previous business venture was 'GcMAF.la', a site festooned with fulsome testimonials for GcMAF, penned with all the sincerity of a Penthouse Letters column (a recurring theme in Trevor's website designs), and targetting the Spanish-speaking American market.* But alas, there is no word yet on the GcMAF.la site about the new and actually-working Omnia product; either GcMAF still works in Latin America, or Banks is using that sector of the market as a dumping-ground for superannuated goods. We are SHOCKED by this cavalier attitude to the customers, or caballero attitude as the case may be.
Below: Mining letters for
Penthouse: A and B are easy

Now this is all in the way of an elaborate segue to Lesley Hutchings, Banks' sister and erstwhile partner in a number of GcMAF-peddling activities.** Currently she sells vanity products... toothpaste, and her MAFactive skin-cream, which is primarily emu fat. Sometimes the lotion is credited with curative powers drawn from single- or quadruple-strength trace amounts of the magic protein, and sometimes it is homeopathic, the trace amounts having been diluted to non-existence for the sake of even greater potency. We cultivate an attitude of caution towards large-flightless-bird-based products, they are known to cause diar-rhea, so we are casso-wary. Instead the Riddled Gifte-Shoppe now offers our "Liniment of Gratified Desire", made with fats from the finest vat-grown godmeat, rendered down in our hygienic GMP facility and then hand-crafted by Riddled staff for protein enrichment of varying and unquantified degrees.
Another Kiwi renders down the Godmeat
What concerns us here is Lesley's Persecution and Assassination, as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton. For the French newspapers finally arrived on the breakfast table at stately Riddled manor, several weeks delayed and smelling faintly of creosote, I prefer not to dwell upon the possible uses to which the library pixies have put them in the interim, and this is what we read:
Les gendarmes ont découvert dans la Manche plusieurs laboratoires clandestins d'où ils expédiaient leurs prétendus produits. La dose, le plus souvent des fioles de quelques millitres, était vendue jusqu'à 500 € aux clients. Les dirigeants de ce faux laboratoire animaient aussi une page Facebook où des malades ou prétendus tel assuraient être guéris quand d'autres assuraient qu'en quelques jours leurs tumeurs avaient «reculé de 60 %».
Les gendarmes ont découvert que le faux laboratoire avait expédié pas moins de 5400 colis à travers toute l'Europe depuis son installation il y a dix-huit mois juste dans les environs de Cherbourg. Curieusement l'adresse postale de cette société était située sur l'île anglaise de Guernesey, paradis fiscal. Deux hommes âgés de 49 et 52 ans ont été présentés à un juge du pôle santé du parquet de Paris pour être mis en examen.
... i.e. arrests (three weeks ago) at a clandestine GcMAF lab in a farmhouse in the environs of Cherbourg, an hour or two's drive up the N13 from Lesley's abode near Bion.#
Coincidentally, Lesley's website MAFactive is now in a state of Abbey-ance -- unable to deliver on purchases of the soothing emu-lient lotion -- while financial contribtions are sought for Lesley's own legal defense. Also too she fears for her life, what with Mossad clean-up teams, it is the whole Pharma Kill-list revisited. Crivens!
The pharma equivalent of the protein used in the cream is undergoing trials and will soon become available at a much higher cost. This is an alliance between pharma / Israel govts / USA govts.  The trials of this pharma protein started in 2014, the persecution of all things related to gcmaf started in February 2015. The end date of the trails, after which it can be marketed is May 2017. All competition MUST be extinguished before then.
I just am thankful that I do not live in a country where handguns are routinely carried, in the USA the outcome for doctors involved with gcmaf in 2015 was much worse, with many dying under suspicious circumstances.
I am glad to be out of it alive. They will launch their new product at any cost to human life. This is why I am facing a 5 year jail term with unbelievable charges, for making a cosmetic that harmed no one. There was never any issues with the cream, never a single complaint, never a single mention of anything to the public liability insurance that I had.
https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02052492
The clinical trial just up there, it leads to the back-story... or one of the back-stories... this one about the private company Efranat. Who started a well-meaning trial of GcMAF, until October 2015 when they changed the name of the putative immunotherapy drug to "EF-202". There has been no update since then; the trial is still "enlisting patients", while the Efranat website has not altered either since the last News and Events in November 2015.*** IT IS A DEAD PARROT.

The leap from "moribund private company" to "Israel govt" is not an obvious one, unless you are a scamming Alt-Med magical thinker (but I repeat myself), susceptible to the persuasive powers of Crank Magnetism, whereupon antisemitism and the Jewish / NWO Conspiracy are always the explanation of everything, AS FORETOLD IN THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ZION.
Top: Reindeer excitable
because antlers on fire
Now here there was to have been a clever segue to Amanda Mary Jewell -- erstwhile colleague and DEADLY RIVAL of Lesley and Trevor in GcMAF importation, recipient of a pig-colon transplant, who likes to pose in lab-coat cosplay and billed herself as Senior Cancer Researcher and consultant at a Tijuana conman's quackery. But tl;dw so let's jump straight to her FB feed, which is slightly more excitable and hair-on-fire than usual.

 
9:31 Amanda: Who’s heard of Pringles? Once you pop you can’t stop. Do you know the flavouring that’s being used?
Pixellated Participant: [inaudible]
Amanda: Absolutely!
Unpixellated Participant: Eh?
Amanda: Aborted foetuses. Every part of an aborted – whether it’s elective or whether you choose to terminate a pregnancy or the body naturally aborts the baby – it’s all called an abortion at the end of the day, a termination whether it’s elective or not. They then take that foetus and every part of that foetus is sold on the market.
Various participants: [inaudible]
Amanda: Well one part of it is “natural flavorings” that they turn it into. So whether it be potato chips, cheese spreads, Kraft – I can give you a list of products. If you want to eat human flesh, go ahead, but it’s not harming my body, it’s not going into my body, it’s your choice.

Soylent Green Processed food is people fetal! I saw that movie!

It is interesting where the "fetal parts in food" fabrication came from, no I tell a lie... it was spun out of airy nothing a few years ago by some mendacious forced-pregnancy gobshite, making it inherently boring. There is much more fetus-fetishist virtue-signalling in AMJ's FaceBukkake feed. She has no obvious incentive fot climbing aboard the anti-abortion scamwagon so one can only surmise that she appropriated this particular pukefunnel in order to drive away prospective customers if they retain any time-wasting vestige of question-asking habits, leaving her free to concentrate her credulity exploits on the ones whose gullibility is most steadfast in the face of absurdity.

"Credulity Exploits" would be a good bandname, just saying.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Judging from the joint recipients of these grateful endorsements, "GcMAF.la" was a joint venture with Kerri Rivera, who was previously noted for collecting bleach-enemas-cure-autism endorsements to use in her bleach-pimp business (until legal encounters encouraged her to find a new grift).

** The siblings first came onto the Riddled radar when Trevor launched into a campaign of letter-writing to defend the idea of curing autism with bleach enemas, I am not making this up. Trevor and Lesley later parted in Acrimony, which is (as any fule kno) a quaint little Tuscan village in the Apennine foothills... the circle of GcMAF dealers may be small but it generates enough bitter feuding and histrionic estrangement to supply scripts for an entire season of WWF bouts.

*** Efranat started out with (a) such touching faith in Dr Yamamoto [discoverer of GcMAF as cancer cure] that they honoured him with co-foundership, and (b) a license to produce the stuff using his process of enzymatic deglycolation. Only later, after borrowing and spending $4.5 million, were they to discover that Yamamoto is a fabulist, whose results were comprehensively faked and whose extraction method only works in the presence of a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother to begin the cascade of molecular transformation. So they progressively scrubbed his name from company documentation and boarded up the windows in the hope that investors wouldn't notice.

♯ Another French news outlet adds the detail that as well as the 'laboratory' in Digosville near Cherbourg, two other labs were busted in the February raids, by the town of Mortain where Lesley abides.

10 comments:

Emma said...

Oh, these are my favorite! If you published a magazine, I'd subscribe (with money, even) (irony).

That Facebook screenshot. My favorite parts were:
1.) The man who wanted the government to stop standing in the way of researching "werediseases." (I think?) I wonder what kind of wereanimal he turns into, come the full moon? I'm hoping: weregoat.
2.) I guess we're seeing some of that "DNC pedophile pizza shop" conspiracy theory spilling over into other kinds of deranged alt-reality spaces.
3.) The lady who mentioned that 61 doctors had been murdered all over the world, for no reason other than that they had attempted, in their own humble way, to profit from an all-natural cure for cancer/everything/death, and the other lady was like: BUT I DIDN'T GET MY MONEY BACK :[

As far as the Rerum/Omnia goes, the first grifter looked as if he was at least conversant in the pseudomedical culture of homeopathic quacks. The other one looked like it was written by the bot that replaces blogged words with their synonyms so that the scammers who c&p other people's blog posts to get ad hits can avoid copyright infringement.

Also, you know, "condroitin sulphate, oleic acid and vitamin D" — that's a combination of the arthritis supplement I used to give my elderly cat, olive oil, and a vitamin so cheap you can buy 1000 pills for $10 at any pharmacy in the world. Actually, I used to give my arthritic elderly cat sardines packed in olive oil, too, which contained both oleic acid and all-natural fishbone vitamin D. She eventually died anyway. I wonder how that's even possible, given my holistic application of Rerum/Omnia? The government assassinated her, probably.

The rest of that stuff, you know, it's pretty depressing. I suffer from a disorder called PCOS, which I treat with a combination of prescription medicines, militant lifestyle alterations and, I guess, unregulated supplements (progesterone cream and an herb called Vitex). The supplements really help me, in ways that are irrelevant to people who don't have PCOS, but taking them makes me feel guilty — like I'm letting science down, or something. I can certainly identify with these poor dumb people; when you acquire a medical condition that's poorly-understood, or that falls outside the parameters of traditional pharmacological intervention, it can be hard to communicate with doctors about how to help yourself. As a non-idiot, I know that my GP and a research scientist and an employee at Pfizer aren't the same thing, I understand (unhappily) that one bottle of Vitex isn't necessarily the same thing as another bottle of Vitex (and that none of them may, in fact, even be Vitex in the first place), and that no miracle is going to happen that will fix me forever. For sicker/dumber people, I think those things are really hard to swallow. Impossible, even. But making the conscious choice to descend into delusion isn't going to make you better, either. If miracle cures worked, nobody would ever be sick.

It makes me feel sad and angry and full of pity at the same time. I think the German language is really letting me down by not coming up with a word to describe "the sadness you feel when you watch others be taken advantage of by medical quacks."

On a final ridiculous note, one time I bought emu oil at a health food store, and the clerk told me it was "vegan, and had nothing to do with actual emu birds." Which? Maybe he thinks there's an emu tree somewhere, who knows. (The product was a terrible moisturizer, anyway, and slid off my face within minutes of application.) (Also it tasted bad.)

Woo, I got unwarrantedly serious! Sorry :[

Can you speak both Italian and French? And you research different words for colors in Slovakian languages, know a great deal about HIV pathology, and attend craft beer seminars? Because that is all conspiring to interfere with my mental picture of you as a fellow at Unseen University. Or, wait... WAIT.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

And a most rich environment for flightless bird punes. Bravo diar-rhea ans casso-wary!

Anonymous said...

Bravo Smut you have out done yourself, as you have done time and time again.

Malarkey

JP said...

I mean, some college friends did once make a fetus cake to throw at shithead anti-abortion protestors once, so I guess that counts as fetus food.

Smut Clyde said...

I am not sure if I have given Dora and Malarkey enough recognition for doing all the real work.

As far as the Rerum/Omnia goes, the first grifter looked as if he was at least conversant in the pseudomedical culture of homeopathic quacks.

Yes, Ruggiero speaks fluent Bafflegab. He has had a thorough medical education and many years of experience so really there is less excuse for him.

that's a combination of the arthritis supplement I used to give my elderly cat, olive oil, and a vitamin so cheap you can buy 1000 pills for $10 at any pharmacy in the world.

Ah, but you have to put them in the blender for just the right time to produce the necessary nanotechnology molecular encapsulation fritillary calenture. Otherwise they don't work.

I rely a lot on G**gle Translate.

Smut Clyde said...

I wonder what kind of wereanimal he turns into, come the full moon? I'm hoping: weregoat.

Magical talking bear prostitute.

Smut Clyde said...

Can you speak both Italian and French?
Now if any readers want Francophonics, they should go visit Trevor's blog.

Emma said...

I rely a lot on G**gle Translate.
I do too, and I've never been able to decode scientific research papers. Suspicious!

I just looked at that creepy fetus memorial that terrible lady put on her Facebook page.

⋆* ⁑⋆* (๑•﹏•)⋆* ⁑⋆*

Fetuses are really extremely disgusting, and they resemble bad special effects from alien movies. Looking at them makes me wish abortion was compulsory; thinking about those disgusting little rubbery monsters crawling around people's insides for months at a time is horrifying. How is that kind of thing helping anybody? Hump fetuses in the privacy of your own home, crazy religious people, stop getting them all over the internet.

Although, the fetus in the photo you posted does kind of look like it's in some mizu shingen mochi. That's neat.

OBS said...

Rerum

Huh, where'd the "D" go?

Mining letters for
Penthouse: A -- Twig


Never mind, I found it!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

My favorite detail is the assertion that their opponents are pediphiles... now, that's a loaded term for an honest foot fetishist.