When you hear hoofbeats in the night...

...take a homeopathic preparation of Zebra until symptoms cease.

An informal survey of the clientele at the Old Entomologist ascertained the following:

1. Swearing Bob ascribes the sound of hoofbeats to "feckin gobshite ponies".
2. Greenish Hugh looks first for a guy carrying two coconut shells.
3. Head barmaid Evangeline van Holsterin thinks we are all loonies.
4. Space-Time Eddie looks for a spectral entity from the casebook of Carnacki the Ghost-Finder; or failing that, a Clark Ashton Smith story.