Sunday, May 22, 2016

Return of the Lion's-mane fungus

An unobservant passerby will often overlook Hericium coralloides growing on a dead tree, believing it to be a burst waterpipe within the stump where the water froze overnight. However, microscopic examination of the fungus' 'teeth' or spines reveals the absence of any frozen Santa Clauses inside, distinguishing them from an icicle.

By artificial light
The many aliases of the organism include "Coral spine" or "Comb tooth" fungus; fungus icicles; hedgehog toadstool, where the comparison assumes that Spiny Norman has turned albino and is hanging upside down; and Pekepekekiore, which is Maori for "tentacle-toothed abomination from another dimension".

Appearance not improved by close examination.

To me it will always be the "Get in Mah Belly Mushroom".
Daylight, part eaten
The term "Lion's Mane fungus" is also attested. It follows beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that there must exist corresponding Bald Shorn Lion fungi.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Dirty deeds, done with sheep


In which Australians continue to live down to our expectations.

Running in my death trap, death trap

Apparently when a Google car is blebbed all over with chewing gum in the manner of a Douglas Coupland sculpture, it inspires indolent crash dummies to make them- selves comfortable upon the bonnet, which in turn attracts veritable swarms of 232.

Then there is the Google attempt to stake out the whole area of adhesive pedestrian-collecting cars. It may be that their patent lawyers are unaware of prior art in the field.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Huge sockpuppets, the classiest sockpuppets

Of course there is nothing wrong or shameful about assuming a false identity in order to praise one's sexual prowess and give excuses for one's unavailability. Nor is there any shame in denying that sock- puppetry when it comes to light.

But "John Barron"? SRSly?

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Hugs needed

There there, little seal.
We did warn you not to read the comment threads.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Regeneration Made Easy

For all your regeneration needs -- from piranha farming to hydrofluoric glass etching -- use 83.*
Left: Before 83
Right: After 83
83 is now available in Times Roman, Courier, Trebuchet Ariel and Verdana. Use 83 in hearty 18-point for men, or dainty pink 8-point for ladies.

* Contents may vary from 81 to 85 per packet.

Merely a coincidence? I THINK NOT

The molecular structure of (a) the metabolite hydroxynorketamine (HNK), possibly responsible for the anti-depressant effects of ketamine...

or (b) a child's pull-along toy?
Bonus Ketamine humour:
Q. Why is 666 like an animal anaesthetic?
A: They're both the number of the beast.